With Father’s Day coming up, I’ve been reflecting on some of my favorite moments as a dad. A few years ago, my family and I were doing a little shopping at Downtown Disney. Everything was going great, it was a beautiful day outside …Â then it happened. My daughter was rounding a corner and a giant bug flew right at her nose, she stepped back, swatted the bug away and exclaimed at the top of her 10 year-old lungs, “What the hell was that!?”
Now let’s keep in mind, no matter how grounded you are as a parent, hearing your baby say her first swear word is a MAJOR shock. Nothing I had ever experienced— no parenting book I had ever read really prepped me for this. My wife didn’t hear her, so this was going to be totally on my shoulders. The initial reaction was all on me, and how I reacted in the next 3 seconds was going to make a very public statement, in a very public place.
I could only think of three different options:
- Freak Out – Sometimes, this is the first option that pops in your brain. I pictured myself in a black and white Puritan outfit, you know, the ones that come with the big, buckled Thanksgiving styled hats. Screaming wildly about how you’ve become a black mark on the family and now you’re going to have to wear a big “C” on your chest because you’ve uttered the word of curse. I could take it to a “Footloose” style scenario and have her come to a town hall meeting and convince the board and I, through use of the scriptures, why cursing should be allowed in our small Midwestern town.
- Ignore It/Be Cool –  Yeah, I could just ignore it and hope it will never happen again. I know, how this works out. Before you know it, I’m being interviewed by Nancy Grace and her ridiculously forced southern accent, “YEW HAAVE BEEEEN AH BAAD FAWTHER!!!”  Almost all of us have learned that ignoring something, doesn’t make it go away.  Should I just be cool and compliment her on using her new exclamation in the proper way? The”be cool” angle will jump up and bite you in the butt quicker than a hipster trying to score the last can of mustache wax at his favorite farmers market/vegan eatery/brewery/second hand clothing boutique. When you tell your child that something they’re doing is cool, they just want to do it more. Why? … Because your kid, no matter what they say, wants you to think that they’re cool.
- Teach Them – Maybe, I should tell her about the first time I ever said a curse word? I dropped the F-Bomb in the back of a neighbor’s car when I was 8. My Mom pulled me aside and told me the word I used was very bad and was not a word intelligent people used. When asked where I heard the word, I pulled a Ralphie and blamed it on the kids next door. The truth was, I heard my Dad say it the Saturday before about 15 times while he watched a FSU football game. He didn’t really get on to me about swearing either. The story goes, he hated the neighbors I said it in front of, so he used the situation to his advantage. He told them he totally understood if they didn’t want their kids hanging out with his foul mouthed son. He never had to see them again. Dad always gets a sly smile on his face when he tells this story.
What happened next, made me feel pretty good as a parent. My daughter started to cry. Stick with me on this! Â She threw her arms around me and buried her face in my stomach. “Daddy, I just said a bad word. I’m so sorry!” She went to pieces. My wife caught on to what was going on and had the same perspective I did on it. She was being harder on herself, than we could have ever been. We are obviously raising a child who respects herself enough, to hold herself accountable for her own actions. I was very proud. I guess I’m doing alright as a first time parent. Much like my daughter… sometimes I can be a little hard on myself.
Gerber wants to know some of your favorite dad moments and share with you the “Growing Up Gerber” gallery.